Killer Smile

RENT Post-Obsession, and Other Things Life-Related

So yes, I did get the raffle tickets to RENT.  First row, just left of center, aka AMAZING.  Went with Mariya, who gets a shout out for her comment on the last post :)  It was so much fun, the actors were right above us and you could see every single detail . . . so amazing.  Then afterwards we met the guy who played Mark (named Harley Jay, and yes, awful name I know, but he was amazingly gorgeous in a white skinny nerd sort of way that I find really super attractive).  He signed our Playbills and said he recognized me from the audience which made me feel really special because, you know, I’m just that amazing :P  Lol just kidding.

Anyway, then my parents announced that I was grounded when I got home, so “no internet” for a week.  Psht yeah right.  I’ve been getting on here and there (obviously) and they either haven’t caught me or haven’t cared.  Today I worked for my dad doing a lot of filing (I know, exciting, right?) and then sat around and did the equivilant of nothing.

Oh, and I owe shout outs to Seth and Nina, who commented a couple of posts ago and I forgot to mention it.  Thanks guys :) 

Anywhichway, I’m gonna go now.  Tomorrow is the last day of homework and school free bliss . . . oh how I will miss it.



Life is Disappointing

You know what I mean?  And I have to credit the WordPress community: by tagging Ledger in my last post, I got 19 views in one day, which (though it may seem pathetic), is the most I’ve ever had.  So thanks guys.  Otherwise, views have been lame, but I’ve been slacking on the posting, so it’s no one else’s fault but mine. 

So, let’s recap.  Wednesday was fun.  I helped my friend throw a surprise birthday party for my other friend, and I was going to write a post that day but didn’t.  It was fun, but my mom got really mad when she had to pick me up in the freezing cold at 8 o’clock.  (I know it’s not THAT late, but in the winter it’s freaking DARK then, so shutup.)

Thursday was hell.  I was 40 minutes to my math final, and was lucky enough to still get to take it because my advisor is the greatest person in the world.  I managed to finish the test as everyone else did anyway (well, at the time that the test was supposed to end, anway.  Most people were already done by the time I walked in.  Yes, it was that easy).  Then I had my spanish oral exam, which was okay.  I blanked and said that one of my outdoor chores was to “cut the iron”, so I probably didn’t do *that* great. 

Today was the rest of the Spanish exam, and it wasn’t that bad, but not that great either.  The listening was on a 20 year old cassette tape that was far away, so I couldn’t hear it, but whatever I think I did well enough to ace the class (I hope I did anyway).  Then I worked at my mom’s office doing lots of copying and folder-making and some hazardous phone opperating.  I had lunch with a friend from camp, which was loads of fun since we got to catch up and lots had happened between when we’d last seen each other.

Tomorrow I’m hoping to get raffle tickets for RENT matinee show, fingers are crossed.  I’m going with another one of my friends who hasn’t seen it, so we’re pretty excited.  And that is all I have to say.  Nothing is really happening, except for me being pissed at about every person I know.  Therefore I have nothing else to say.  Thank you for coming, and have a nice day.


Death, Birth, and Another Death

The first death, of course, was my iPod mini, silver, 6 gig.  I reported on this a while ago, but today at the Apple Store on 5th and 59th, it was confirmed : (  It was a wonderful iPod, served all my musical needs and my occasional game needs.  It didn’t have a special name, since I didn’t see the need, but to me it was a great friend. 

The birth was my new iPod, again silver, but this time an 80 gig classic.  It’s beautiful, and also nameless.  I’m still getting used to the fact that it’s in color and it’s MINE and it works, but I love it so much.  It was a pain in the ass to get it.  I had to walk from 11th and 61st all the way across town to the store at 5th and 59th, and then it turned out they wouldn’t accept debit card unless it was the card owner, so I had to go get cash at the Citibank on 6th and 55th, go back to the Apple store, and then go back to Colombus Circle (59th and 8th/Broadway) so I could get home on the 1.  It was exhausting.  It was also worth it.  I love my new iPod and it’s got lots more room for lots of new movies and photos and music etc.  I’m very psyched.

The second death, as the world has probably heard by now, is Heath Ledger.  Aged 28, impressive.  Okay, no death jokes, I suppose.  Loved him in A Knight’s Tale (and yes, I did almost write “A Night’s Tail”, but we won’t acknowledge that).  I don’t really have anything to say about it, he wasn’t my favorite actor or anything, but I figure that he deserves to be commemorated since he hasn’t been in the tabloids for a while, as far as I’ve noticed.  Props to him.

Yay.  That’s really all I wanted to say.  A word to the stupid (because the wise, as my friend points out, really shouldn’t need it) : The camera realy does add ten pounds, at least.  Don’t wear tight clothing in front of one.  And with that, I’m out.



So the blog has finally hit 100 views, though it took a bit longer than I thought it would.  Oh well.  Thanks  you guys! 

That’s about all I had to say.  Went to MoMA today (Museum of Modern Art) with some friends, had a good time.  They removed my favorite Baskin Robbin’s flavor : ( but oh well.  Yeah, that’s about it . . .  love you all.


Story, but with a warning.

Not really for kids . . . at all.  Sorry, I meant to post this earlier but I forgot.  It’s not finished or ended or anything like that, and maybe it will be, maybe it won’t be, but I don’t know cause I just kinda wrote it randomly.

The first curfew was 2 A.M.

It only applied to kids under 13, but soon that rule changed too. The first curfew was expected, it had been unofficial for years. If your kid hadn’t experienced adolescence and was out on the streets past 2 A.M., you knew everyone knew about them and how they were dealing smack or some shit on the streets. There weren’t many of ’em, of course. Why should there be? Half of them couldn’t tell shit from fuck, and it’s not like they get invited to parties or clubs ’cause we all know they can’t handle it. Kids who haven’t hit yet aren’t made to hold their liquor, they’re built to learn about it first, and then hold it. At least, that’s how it works here. But don’t get me wrong, we aren’t a party town or nothing, we just know how and where and when to hold our liquor and get our drugs, our few minutes of bliss.

The first curfew, if I remember correctly ’cause damn, that was a long time ago and I don’t remember much from back then, lasted for six months to the day. Yeah, that sounds about right, April through to October. No one was upset about it, ’cause having a kid who wasn’t an official teen yet out drinking and doing drugs was one of the bigger shameful acts in society. Everyone knew what would happen to them before they even got into senior school. They were destined to become drop outs, live with their parents forever, and if they were men, knock up countless women, and if they were women, get knocked up by countless men. That was just how society worked.

And so the story goes that six months later there was a new curfew. The time was bumped down to 1 A.M., and the age bumped up to 16. Even then, the terms were realistic. There were a few kids, if I remember which God knows I don’t but we’ll say I do anyway, who were out then who were at that age, but they were all wasted and shitfaced, and I mean to the point that if you looked at them even you wouldn’t know which way was up. The 1 A.M. curfew didn’t affect many though. I think the senior school had about 200 kids in its underclassmen grades, and the junior school had maybe 200 total as well. A lot of families with young kids were moving out, and had been for years ’cause to be quite honest, it wasn’t the best neighborhood around, especially not when it’s compared to the fucking Motherland, Gabe Hill, where we know all the prick fucks just do their drugs when their quadrillionaire parents are away in their fucking resorts on islands named after their most prized son or most popular daughter who got an A on their goddamn intelligence test.

No one really cared about the 1 A.M. curfew, or later the 12 A.M. curfew that kept kids under 18 off the streets. After that no one remembers much, and I know I don’t remember jack shit about nothing. I know that in that time I got fucked over really bad cause some day or another I woke up in some place I didn’t know with some sort of killer headache, but who knows what that meant, cause I sure don’t. The idea I think I heard go round once or twice was that they were bringing families closer together by making sure everyone stayed home. They wanted to keep kids off the streets, and keep drugs outta homes, though as far as I’m concerned that hasn’t come close to working yet.

Don’t ask me who ‘they’ is cause I don’t know. No one does for sure.

Now the curfew was 9 P.M. Anybody under 21’s had to follow it, and me and my friends were under 21 so we couldn’t be out much anymore. That didn’t keep us from getting our beer or our pot or smack or e or whatever we wanted. It was not hard to get, not hard to get at all. You just had to know the right people, and in a town where everyone knew most everyone, it wasn’t hard to know the right people.

I don’t think, before us, anyone ever really thought of breaking curfew. The idea made sense, and you were gonna get caught if you didn’t comply so there didn’t seem to be much of a point. And since we were out to party, at least me and my friends were, and with the curfew there weren’t any parties, and without the parties there was no reason to break curfew. It all fit.

But that night, or tonight as I guess we’ll call it for whatever poetic excuse, was the first party in a while. No one really knew (or knows) about it, and it was really just me and Jillian and Claira and Joe and Thom (yeah, we get that the ‘h’ is tacky, but that describes Thom in one word: tacky). Morgan said maybe, and when Morgan says maybe she means maybe.

No way was anyone going to get away with saying that this was a party that started before curfew and ran late cause everyone forgot to check the time. Besides the fact that checking time was automatic, instinctual, and we all practically had a digital watch built into our brains, this party wasn’t going to start until way after curfew.

The party was Claira’s idea, or maybe Joe’s, to hold the party, but definitely Jillian’s to start it at 12 when most everyone would either be completely out or asleep. We were all set with lists and shit and Thom was getting the booze (nothing too fancy, but no cheap shit either), Claira was responsible for getting some pot cause we didn’t want any hard drugs but high is always nice. I got some soda to mix with the booze and Jillian was hosting the whole thing. Morgan said that if she came she was only bringing her sex drive cause God knows if she ended up coming, she would be cumming too.


Hope you liked it, let me know in comments.  Don’t yell at me if you think it wasn’t really appropriate, it’s the online community so I can publish what I want, and there was a warning.


Ahh . . . for now, anyway.

So, it has now been a ligitimately long period of time since I last posted, and no one’s hit the site in about five or six days, so I figure it’s time for a new post. 

Had my Science and English PBAs on Friday, plus Math Tutoring.  I suppose we’ll recap in chronological order then (which is actually reverse of the way I just listed them).

 First was Math, at freaking 10 in the morning.  I know, insane, especially when I get to choose when I go.  But that’s when a lot of my friends were going, and I’d rather go with them than people I didn’t know.  It was really pointless.  The only reason I (and most of my friends) went was to get the answers to the take home test that she’d given.  I think it was mandetory to go too . . . but she didn’t really make that clear, so it was kind of weird.  I did really badly, but I wasn’t actually taking it like a test or even really paying attention to it when I was taking it, so whatever. 

English was really easy, and I knew it would be.  It was just a cool discussion about my paper and what we were doing in class and stuff like that, just a one-on-one with my teacher who’s absoluely amazing (I promise you, she’d pwn any of your teachers anyday).  We also discussed my distaste for symbolism, and how I needed to just get over it.  Which I do, I guess.  I just don’t want to admit it.  It’s kinda like that one weird argument that you make for the sake of having something individual about you that’s just kinda weird.  My hate for symbolism is kind of that . . . anyway that’s besides the point.

Science was what I was really worried about anyway.  It was this paper that was an absolute minimum of 5 pages (as in 5 pages would get you a C, supposidly).  We had to do an in-depth research paper about a disease, and mine was Marfan Syndrome.  The hardest part, I think, was just conceptualizing all of the information that we needed for the paper.  Once you understood your disease and what was going on with it, both the paper and the discussion were really easy.  My paper ended up being 10 pages with 17 different citations (sorta), and our discussion went really well, so everything was good : )

Now I just have math and spanish to worry about, and film.  Well I’m not worried about math (not really, anyway), and I should be very worried about film but I’m actually not.  Spanish is getting to me, sort of.  I don’t think I’m going to do very well, and I really don’t want it to bring my grade down to a B.  I’m trying so hard to get my grade up to an A it’s ridiculous.  Call me a nerd if you will, but it’s really important to me.  The spanish department does their grades more mathmatically than any department in the school, so it’s really hard to boost your grade through things like participation, and there’s no benefit of the doubt.  If the numbers add up to an 89 (which they did for me last quarter), than you’re getting a B and there’s nothing you can really do about it.  It’s really ridiculous if you ask me, even though it kind of makes sense.  *sigh* whatever.

My computer’s fallend apart, and that makes me kind of really sad.  iTunes won’t play any music, and my iPod mini silver died on Thursday for once and for all.  I think I’m getting the classic today, which is a relief because I need my music!!!  I’ve been listening to ILYB all weekend, and even though I love it to death, variety is always nice.  Not only does iTunes not work though, but Sims won’t play, and my computer continuously says that I’m not connected to the internet, even though I clearly am because otherwise I wouldn’t be writing this right now. 

I wrote a little story a couple of days ago, so I think I’m going to post that right after I’m done typing this, and you can read it and say what you think or whatever.  If, of course, anyone actually reads this.  I hope they do though.  I’m still searching for the three more hits that make it 100 views.  Please guys (and girls)!!

Anyway, I think this is my longest post, probably because it’s been the longest gap of time in which I haven’t written anything.  There’s lots more stuff that I did, but it probably wouldn’t interest you.  I’m going to try and write the twenty-five more words necessary in order to make this entry 800+ words long.  Almost there . . .  YAY!  803 as of now.  Anyway, talk to you all later <3


Holy Crap.

Oh my God.  I HATE SCIENCE.  Stupid PBA’s.  Yes, I left the science PBA until last minute . . . yes that was stupid yes I was sooo wrong.  It’s a freaking 10 page paper, and I’m totally stuck.   This is SO STUPID.  GRRRRRR.  *Frustrationfrustrationfrustration*

 On even worse news, RENT CLOSES 1 JUNE 2008!!!  I don’t know HOW this could’ve ever happened, it’s TERRIBLE news.  I’m planning on wearing all black tomorrow in mourning of.  Very very sad day :(

 And, on slightly better news, I’ve been casted as Auntie Em in The Wizard of Oz.  It’s a speaking role, so I’m happy with it.  Yay.  Okay, no more happy. 

School otherwise sucks, I’ve been spending the last few days not doing anything in attempts to say “well at least I’m not procrastinating, even if I’m not doing work either”.  My iPod is dead, I should charge it.  My love life is still reportedly unexistant, which sucks but whatever I don’t care enough to do anything about it ever.  I need a cold drink and a couple of days out of school.  I need SLEEP so bad it’s not even funny.  I need to talk to people who will actually help with this damned project.  I need to not actually have a history test tomorrow.  I need a life.  I need a lot of drugs to keep me sane.  I need help. 

Sorry this is sort of (okay, really really) whiney, but I have nothing positive to say at the moment.  As always, I’ll hope that someone may comment, but no one will.  Perhaps a couple of more poeple will look at this blog.  I’m at 97 views, and I really want to get to 100.  I’ll be very happy


So . . .

It’s officially been a ridiculous amount of time since I last posted.  Okay, well two days, so not really, but it feels like a lot longer than that.  Not that much has happened, because we all know that nothing ever happens. 

Okay, maybe that’s kind of a lie.  A few things happened.

Friday was alright, we had Shabbat dinner with the Youth Group and then went to services.  It was a lot of fun, more fun than I expected it to be.  And, just as a minor reminder, it was a week since the Friday before (only some of you would know that significance), which was mildly amusing.  Ski Trip is officially the 22-24th of February, and I’m SO excited.  It’s in the middle of February break and it’s going to be *so* much fun. 

Saturday was Saturday.  Took a math take-home test in prep for the PBA . . . it was really easy and I had time to go over it about twice and still had at least fifteen minutes extra time left over.  That was my only real homework assignment due Monday, though I still have a lot of studying to do for other things. 

Saturday night we went to see . . . SPRING AWAKENING!  It was so much fun.  The one thing I really don’t like about the musical is that the songs don’t have ANY significance at ALL unless you hear them in the context of the musical, which sucks because it makes the music a lot less enjoyable.  It’s also a lot like watching porn . . . but that’s okay, right?  I mean, it’s Broadway.  There was hot blonde guy who made me really happy (he plays Ernst . . . and makes me really really happy), and we hugged the guy who played Moritz (no, it wasn’t Groff, who’d left the show, it was another guy who I liked just fine.  He too made me very very happy.  He plays Carl in LOST, which is pretty cool.  It only took us about fifteen mintues to figure out who Carl was on lost, as I didn’t actually watch the second half of the third season . . . whoops). 

I got new shoes.  They’re very pretty.

What was really weird was that before the show I saw the Beacon Ink teacher advisor on 42nd street walking into ESPN zone with who I’d guess was her boyfriend.  I didn’t say hi, but I’m nearly positive it was her . . . it was really creepy kind of.  I’m going to make it my duty to ask her on Thursday or whenever I see her.  Blehh I’m tired.

So today is Sunday.  This morning we watched West Bank Story in Jew school, it was pretty funny.  We discussed the stereotypes a bit but mostly talked about how impossible it was to come up with any sort of idea for peace in Israel/Palestine.  I know, very interesting.  And then I had lunch.  And now I’m sitting around doing nothing.  I really want to make plans with people for  PBA week but I don’t know who’s around when.

Something cool I did was I linked this blog to my Facebook page, so now all of my blog posts are automatically turned into Facebook notes, which I suppose is good because then *maybe* someone would read them, but I’d honestly rather up my page hits on the site here.  Besides, on Facebook they don’t get to see my pretty layout :) 

No shoutouts this post because no one’s commenting :'(  That makes me saaaaaaaad but oh well.  I get it, you’re all too busy and shit.  I haven’t talked to practically ANYONE and I think that all the people I have talked to are mad at me, except for guy-from-Youth-Group (since I don’t use names and all . . . though I figure all my friends know who I’m talking about anyway it doesn’t really matter . . . saying it that way was just an excuse to make me feel better I suppose.  Word I’m typing kinda fast and it’s making me happy and I don’t really want to stop but I know I have to end this sentance sometime wahhhh ugh okay I suppose I’ll do it NOW). 

So, four more days of school, then finals, then semester two (aka worst semester of all underclassmanship).



I feel like the world is pissed at me, and I’m just being ignorant of it.  I feel really bad about it, and I’m certain that I was probably a bitch to a lot of people in the last few days, so I’m sorry to all of them, I guess, even though I’m sure none of you guys read this blog anyway.  Tonight’s shabbat dinner with the Youth Group, which I’m psyched for, and really really hope I won’t be late (which is perfectly possible because today goes til 3.30 at school).  I don’t even know if I can get a ride there yet, and if I can’t that will be one huge problem :/

I hate Science.  We’re doing this big project for our final where we have to research a disease and find out lots of pretty information about it to discuss etc.  I need more research, though I’m sure if I tried really REALLY hard, I could stretch what I have into a decently sized paper . . . mnehh I really don’t want to do this, so I haven’t.  Too bad an outline is due today, my teacher’s going to kick my ass.  I haven’t done any work on it at home and I feel like it’s SO obvious, but seriously I don’t understand half of what I’m reading, and he won’t help me understand the weird sciencey technical terms, which makes me wonder if even he knows what they mean.  He’s really smart, don’t get me wrong, but it’s so goddamn frustrating!!!  Blehh!!!!

 Anyway, gotta run, leaving for school in fifteen minutes.


Oh and PS– I saw Urinetown at my school yesterday, it was fab.  Way to go guys!!!  Yay Lizzie!!!!!  Love you <3

Oh yeah?

Okay, well today was 100% uninteresting, except of course for English, Science, and After School (don’t ask why I capitalized that).  English I didn’t actually listen, like at all, but I wrote three monologues that I figure I’d share:


There is no ‘think’.  There just is or isn’t.  You do not ‘feel’, you don’t think that what is happening to you is good or bat, it IS good or it IS bad, and if it IS bad, then it is changed until it is good.  Bad will be eliminated at all costs.  We will live in goodness, we will live in strength.  Always.  So, son, decide.  Will you be good or will you be bad?


We need to rid ourselves of fear, child.  It’s all coming to an end, don’t you see?  Can you not understand?  this here, you, me, everything, will be gone.  We will cease to exist.  It will all be over.  And the best part?  Oh, the very best part?  We can’t do a goddamn thing about it.  How does that make you feel?  Hopeless?  You bet it does, kid.  You better believe it does.  There’s no changing now.


Oh my goodness.  Where are we heading now?  It could be anywhere, you know.  Maybe to France, I’ve always wanted to go to France, haven’t you?  The cheese, wine.  Oh the wine.  How wonderful would it be to drink again.  I’d like that, wouldn’t you?

Alright, so they aren’t really monologues so much as mini’s.  I still like them, and I’d love to put them in a play sometime.  I need to write a play, or at least something substantial.  I feel like my writing isn’t going anywhere.

Anyway, so science we made super E.Coli that’s resistant to antibiotic and now I’m terrified that I’m going to die from super E.Coli.  It was fun though.

I’d finish this blog properly, but I’m exhausted so I’m gonna take a nap before starting my homework.  Love to all.