Killer Smile

New Blog

I know people hardly read this, but if you’re interested I’ve started a new blog (in ADDITION to this one, not instead of) that I should be updating daily.


Back Home

I miss Stanford a lot, mostly because I’m not doing much at home.  Sitting around right now, watching golf with my mom, dad, sister, and grandfather, who came over for dinner.  It was this or go and see the Dark Knight in IMAX, which I had absolutely no interest in.  I miss writing every day and being able to do what I wanted when I wanted.  Mom expects me to get a job (as if anyone would hire me for just a week, if that, randomly in the summer).  Dad wants me to work for him (boring work, less than minimum wage).  I’d rather sit around and hang out with people who I haven’t seen since June.  I miss the obligations of class.  They keep me moving and such and give my day structure which I most definitely need.  Who cares that class just brings on the usual issues of procrastination and not enough time or sleep.  It’s definitely worth it.

I was watching TV and saw ads for both Chuck and The Office.  I’d forgotten about the former, but still can’t wait for it to come back on.  Gotta love Chuck, even if the story line is kind of weak.  The Office doesn’t require any explanation.  I love the relationship between Jim and Pam, even if it might spur the end of the series.  It would’ve been worth it.  The Office definitely has some of the best season finales ever.

Finished Harry Potter 5 last night.  I’ve decided that it’s most definitely the least favorite of my books.  If only Harry had been less angry all the time and Dumbledore had been less preachy at the end it might’ve been better–I agree with JKR; I’m not sure what events I’d take out of the book, even though it could stand to be shorter.

Miss people from camp, but I figure that’s normal.  If only we’d had a few more weeks, I think that a lot more could’ve happened.  There were so many people that I only really became friends with in the last week, which sucked a lot.  I hope that I get to see them all at some point during the year.  Maybe we’ll plan some sort of reunion, which would be cool.  I doubt many people would come though, everyone’s from all over.  It’s so weird to not be in the same timezone as everyone else anymore.  I could talk to people until three in the morning, and it’ll only be twelve for them.  It’s a strange feeling.  I wish I could still be living in California time.  I miss IMing people from across the room and getting to sit on everyone’s lap and snuggling in little forts in the laundry room ; )

Anyway I figure I’m going to go now.  I hope to update more often, now that I’ve got solid internet and probably lots of free time.  Now that people may actually be half-watching this blog.  I’ll see y’all later.  Comment, etc.



I wrote one :D It had to use the rhymes moon/soon, loose/truce, and fear/sear.

A Conversation With the Moon, At Night, During War

I talk to the moon
All hell has broken loose
I will be dead soon
I’m not ready to call truce

All hell has broken loose
What is coming evokes fear
I’m not ready to call truce
Oh, I feel the pain sear.

What is coming evokes fear
I will be dead soon
Oh, I feel the pain sear
I talk to the moon.


Hello from Writing Camp

Greetings.  It’s been a long time; too long, perhaps.  I write to you from Stanford sitting next to awesome people in the rec room.  It is cold right now, but only because it’s almost 8.  I started a new blog with a bunch of friends here:  I’m pretty excited about it.  It’s been two weeks so far, and we’ve got two weeks left.  I love it here; I’ve been writing a lot and I’ve made loads of friends.

I’ve done some reading, but not loads since we get a lot of work here.  I read Looking for Alaska for a second time and realized that 136 is both how many days before the book starts, how many days after it ended, and how many pages in “after” occurred.  I’ve gotten a bit further in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.  We’ve been reading a lot of short stories in class, though I don’t really like most of them.  Lots of fun writing exercises.  Yay.  Anyway.  I’m gonna sign off now.  More later, I suppose.  I will post my writing eventually.

Yay for Life-Type Things

First off, I made a video today, and will be making a new one tomorrow:

For the record, I have been writing about a page a day on average (also known as five pages every few days), but it’s for this whole book thing that I’m writing (hopefully will be done by the time school starts). 

I just finished Just Listen by Sarah Dessen.  Go read stuff by her–she’s a fantastic YA author, seriously.  Her books aren’t sad even though you’d think that they’d be seriously depressing, and her characters are the sorts that you would totally fall in love with, all. The. Time.

I saw [title of show] on Monday, it was FANTASTIC.  The book was really funny, funnier than I’d expected.  I knew that the songs were great, but they were different (sometimes for the better, sometimes not).  I totally recommend it.

And speaking of Broadway, Passing Strange is being sent off?!?!  WHAT THE HELL?  SO NOT COOL.  I’m going to try to see it once more before it goes off when I get back from camp (I leave on Monday).

I can’t think of anything more to say.  I learned how to play Amnity Gardens (by fountains of wayne) on the guitar, and I’ve been dogwalking to make some extra money.  I hate it.  Anyway.  That’s enough for now, more later.  Eventually.


Yay for 25 Subs!

Okay, so on the collaboration vlog I do, we’ve got 32 subscribers, which means that there are hypothetically 25 people out there who watch our videos regularly who aren’t us.  I think this is cause for celebration :D  Oh, and here’s my most recent vlog:

Hope you enjoyed it


Excuses, Excuses

So it’s been quite a long time since I’ve written anything, and I feel particularly bad about it since I keep saying that I’ll be coming back with writing.  But it’s okay, because I’ve been failing at just about every count of life. 

I haven’t been able to write much, and the stuff that I have written I wouldn’t show anyone [it scares me more than it would scare you, but I’m still not all that comfortable with it yet].

I finished Middlesex.  It was really good, though the last parts of the book seemed exceedingly unrealistic.  I’d still recommend it, though.  The narrator is really interesting, and the character’s change is amazing.

I’m half way through Harry Potter 4 for the third or fourth time.  It’s good, duh.

I’ve been spending less time online.  Less time on YouTube and Facebook and the Ning.  It shouldn’t concern me, I should think it’s a good thing, but I’m afraid that when I get back to RL I won’t really have the I.  I’ll just be watching.  After experiencing such a year of true internet addiction, I’m kind of starting to notice what an effect it’s had on me.  People don’t really know me the way I thought they did, nor do they identify with me in the same way.  They always talk of having no time but I don’t believe them.  They could have time if they wanted to; if they tried hard enough.  Maybe it’s all just an excuse to not talk to me.

And that’s really what it all comes down to.  I haven’t spoken to many people, mostly just the same ones over and over.  I’m losing touch with the people who matter most to me and I’m realizing, as if for the first time, that they never really cared, even though it’s always crossed my mind.  But now it’s hitting, and it’s hitting kind of hard.  It’ll take work to not feel the compulsion to talk to people who want nothing to do with me.  I’m terrified of it; have been for years.  More than ever I miss school.  At least it kept me busy and my mind occupied.  The routine was nice.  It was constant.  When things were out of wack I could worry about them and TELL someone I was worrying.  During the school year, you know for sure that you’re going to see people again.  The summer never grants these positives. 

So I guess I’ll just spend the next few weeks waiting for Stanford.  Hopefully that will give me the routine that I need to keep my mind going and keep my attention off of the people that I care about more than anything in the world.  Maybe it will make this change hurt a bit less, but I don’t think it will.  I feel like this change has been going non-stop since I graduated elementary school, a whole five years ago.  I’m still trying to find a good crowd, a  great group of people who share my interests and obsessions.  We’ll see what happens.

And yeah, this will still end with a smile.


So I’ve Been A Little Lazy

I’ll admit it. I definitely didn’t post on Sunday because I haven’t really written much this week, but I’m going to take this time to blame it on finals. So there’s good news coming today . . . I FINISHED MY LAST MAJOR FINALS!!!! Okay, so I have health on Friday, but who counts health? Science didn’t go as well as I hoped, but math was really good. And history and Spanish were yesterday, so it’s all good :D

And tomorrow I’m getting tickets for . . . drumroll, please . . . TITLE OF SHOW!!! Me and Evan are going to the opening day extravaganza, and I’m sooo excited about it. It’s going to be a lot of fun, and I promise I’ll post video on shutupandsmile18.

I can’t think of much else to talk about . . . except for the fact that I’ve already got three questions to answer on my vlog on Thursday and I keep thinking that today is Wednesday even though it most definitely isn’t.

And I miss English class :/ A lot. A LOT a lot.

But, I’m going to iHop for dinner tonight, so I guess all isn’t that bad.


Second Vlog [Sorry I Didn’t Post It Sooner]


Yay for 600 views; achieved yesterday (or the day before).

There’s nothing else to say about this.

Big-ish writing post coming at you tomorrow.